bell dubois

2008-03-13T03:08:00.001Z

My reflections of the course, has been more like a revision of my person. Each week there was a different feeling towards what we were looking at. Each week I would get excited and frustrated at the same time. The last week has been hard but not due to it just being deadline week. To put it simply, I've had such a horrible week. What could go wrong did and to make it more exhausting is that I've never felt so tired this year. Sick and tired. Emotionally tired. Bloody tired.

I didn't want to write one of my final blog posts with all this negative energy because I do believe that it shows through. A slow crippling of my mood has been taken place for some weeks now but never like this. And I have come to such a profound conclusion of why this might be...

...Its life. Its reality and its ongoing. There is a reason why we are supposed to work in groups. And it’s not just to give less work for the tutor. Life is about group work, you will always have to, work, live, love and if you want to learn from the people that surround you. I consistently hear "I hate group work" and immediately translate it as "Im fearful of group work". I honestly do believe that insecurity and fear is what makes people dislike working as a team. If you can't work with students that you have known for three years what is the probability that you will become a good team player when you get into your 'industry'.

We are not at school, and we can now apply for more than work experience vacancies. And we will probably compromise ourselves in the early stages when we get to work but somehow find it difficult to compromise when we are in a team in education. Its similar to the framework of relationships, its fine until something goes wrong and for a while there is a slight pause to the progress of the relationship. For it to continue both parties have to work together maybe not equally but together for a common goal if they are to develop. One cannot take all the responsibility its wrong, there will be too much pressure and for me the power politics that come with that angers me.

What fascinates me is the idea that degree students in their final year at times fail to realise that unless 'daddy' is going to give you a job (and if so ask him if he has one for me) you will have to work in a group, sometimes with like minded people sometimes not. What I’ve come to realise is that everybody wants to do well, we all want to achieve but some want to act like it is the last thing on their mind, acting nonchalant as if it was cool. And putting a some what 'passive pressure' on those who are enthusiastic about wanting to reach their full potential.

My primary experiences with my peers were awful. But slowly became easier when I became aware of peoples personalities as the degree developed. So I made sure that the last group I was in was with the people that I could talk to and debate with. I think I made a good choice. To type or not to type the details? -that is the question. One thing that really hit home to me is the feeling of not letting your group down that can put some pressure on an individual by the individuals themselves.

The course I felt was basically at the wrong time but that didn't stop it from being a very engaging process, reflecting on how recent technological developments can have such an effect on humans. From agreeing with some of the negative reviews of the Internet just due to my sheer ignorance of the web. I feel now as if to defend it. In our group wiki we explored how the online communities specifically Myspace and Facebook owners had a great deal of power with the information they gain from these sites.

But I now stand somewhere in the middle of these debates. Feeling frustrated that on one side I hear about the liberation of what the Internet can provide and on the other angle how it’s a killer of modern culture. I might start up a blog, one at my own pace and guidelines. I do feel like I could of given this course more but (I cant explain how nervous it can get posting something up) but then I would of had to give something else less. It’s all about priorities. Bell Dubois shall remain in the blogosphere thanks to Nigel; he has truly been a good ambassador and tried his best to encourage us to critically engage with the subject.

"Web Neutrality"

2008-02-26T03:32:00.002Z

It has begun.

Customers who use Comcast, an Internet service provider have complained that Comcast are blocking some of the content online,even stopping users from accessing the Internet at times. Comcast deny the allegations and claim that they are just keeping the traffic of their users at a measurable rate to avoid 'congestion' on the system.

Could this be true? It probably is and i'm sure that the web has Big Brother tendencies but to actually stop users viewing certain pages by shutting down their Internet makes me very nervous.

Wizards Group Progress

2008-02-22T18:57:00.009Z

This is the best group I've ever been in.

This is a lie.

What is true, is that the Wizards (our group name) individually are creative, emotionally rich, young people that are very smart but through being in this group I have once again had to reflect on my 'ways' and how I come across. They have picked up on my passive frustration towards our progress and my need for structure in group work.

We have known each other for three years, four haircuts, numerous essays and several disagreements. We roughly 'get each other', but unintentionally I feel like an outsider. They are from Europe and all speak German. Frequently. And I do not.

But what I do have is some left over patience, (which I took from my Noble Prize aspirations.) and I also found an online German dictionary.

So if I cant beat them,I might join them.

Unsere Gruppe wird ein gutes Endprodukt haben, das nicht die Ausgabe ist, bin ich mehr mit dem Verfahren angegangen ankamen von dort. Es scheint zu mir jetzt, dass wir alle unsere eigenen Beiträge haben, die helfen werden, unser Gruppenprojekt in einen wiki-d wiki zu entwickeln. Wir haben alle Informationen über unsere Forschungsgebiete kompiliert, damit ich ziemlich glücklich mit der Gruppe im Augenblick bin. Gehen Sie Zauberer.

Get out my Face.

2008-02-21T10:17:00.001Z

According to recent figures recorded by Internet media and market researchers Nielson/ Net Ratings, Facebook has seen a decline in the number of members. I doubt this has anything to do with its popularity as it is still one of the most used social sites in the Uk. But why are we all fleeing? A friend of mine canceled his profile as he was continuosly tagged in questionable situations with females that were not his wife.But I doubt that the drop in Facebook users is due to fear of exposure. I would argue that there are other mini social sites that audiences might prefer, without the same hype that surround Facebook.

To read more on Facebooks dip.

I am

2008-02-18T14:16:00.004Z

I am the child of the diaspora.
I am a child of the diaspora.
I am a child.
I am sometimes just a child, and I use communities to parent me and help me grow. I choose and I am chosen by communities, by circles of people, sometimes even squares and pyramid systems ask me to join them.

I am many things but there are two key characteristics that have shaped my voice. I am African. I am a Woman. I am many things but when I feel contested,confronted, confused or when my integrity is threatened, these two facts become predominant in my heart. I would love to say my mind but it seems that my heart has been more faithfull to me. I am African. I am a Woman.

I am Bell Dubois a constructed pyseudonym, hybridized by two intellectuals. Arguably an existential forgery taken from Mr W.E.B Dubois the writer of the 'Souls of Black Folk' and Bell Hooks the uncomprimising, engaging feminist critic. There was a time where I felt that others used my gender and my ethnicity to define my boundaries. These two writers helped put many of my thoughts and anxities in perspective. I have taken advantage of the postmodern culture but refuse for it to be a simulcrum.

I am continuosly inspired by both of these people, and find them infectiously engaging at times overwhelming that I burrow their eessence through their name and I am not on their same level of critical engagement. Compared to them I am a child.
I am the Child of the Diaspora.

Who Am I Online?

2008-02-18T13:36:00.005Z

Nigel asked the group to google our names and report back on our findings.
Nothing that I found concerning 'my name'online has surprised me or intrigued me.

Some students in the class found their names being associated with terrorism, high profile jobs, novelists, oil company owners. It was fascinated to see their reactions. But I would worry if I found myself, found my online trail as it would feel uncomfortable to me. My attitude towards this is very hypocritical as I google names all the time to see what I can find out about them.

Valentines Day.

2008-02-15T18:53:00.009Z

Yesterday was Valentines day and it seemed to me that I was the only one in the mood for love. I sent messages to those who I initially thought of as soon as I woke up. I bought tulips for my peers. And greeted nearly everyone who I had eye contact with, with a "Happy Valentines Day." My response was rather strange.

They all looked at me as if I was speaking another language. I love, Love, no matter how hard the hate tries to consume me, I will (after getting very vex) get up and start loving again. Sounds cheesy but I swear it feeds me.

A friend of mine went on a first date with someone she met/clicked on through an online dating site. And even though I'm not brave enough to go through it myself (I like my strangers to approach me face to face) I was very happy for her when she rang me with a good news report on him.

Can you find love online? Or to be more accurate can you fall in love with someone you met online? Off-course you can, this stigma against online dating is growing very tired with me. Look at the perks- you get to see his profile and information before you have that awkward first meeting.

Another friend of mine was poked on Facebook and then friend requested by this handsome man so naturally when this new "friend" wanted to go for a drink my friend jumped at the chance. This did not go as well as friend number one.

When he went to meet him, he could not even recognise him as the person standing in front of him held no resembalence to the friend on Facebook. It was as if he digitally enhanced his profile pictures as it felt like two different people. Oh well.

I've been writing, rhyming, drawing on the subject of love from a very young age. I probably wasn't aware that love was the main theme back then. But now looking at my collection of tea stained, crayon filled, scribblings, I have come to the conclusion that Love was the overriding theme.

From my Oliver Twist phase when I used to pick a crayon or two from my friends pencil case,because they made my word's smell like heaven ( actually strawberry and pineapple) or when I was so obsessed with Alan Shearer, I drew pictures of him in a notebook secretly because I supported Liverpool at the time.

Now I'm older Love has become more complex. Writing has helped me evaluate the complexities of it. So I dug some of my love...

You are the very meaning why I giggle at the back of the bus
Staring at the other black couples wondering if their anything like us
You are the end result of my wishes on those shining stars
The reason why that guy can’t buy me a drink when I’m sitting at the bar
You’re the sign the Lord sent
To restore my faith in men
You are why I forget my past pain
Cause this is now, that was then
You are my Prince in shining armor
Tall, dark and handsome
My strapping, young lad
You’re my boyfriend ***** ****
And I just wanted to tell you that I am so glad

Fancy You
I fancy the pants off of you
But you probably have no clue
I would give you my last rolo
(that is just one of the things that I would do)
I will give up fish and chips for a week
Stay away from those Woolworth sweets
Say no to the guy from The Streets
(Well if he asked me out)
I swear I fancy the pants off of you
I have for a while now
Even when you was with that Shirley, that dozy cow
I see you down the park on Sundays
Playing with your mates than straight to the pub-the one opposite Yates
I FANCY the pants off of you
But you never seem to look at me
I thought it was because I was a brunette
But it could be that I’m only 15

Fish and Chips.
Fish and chips, Doritoes and dip
Pancakes flipped, Apricots with no pips
American egg and grits, oatmeal with no bits
Eating is a waste when I can’t find your taste
Rice and Peas, Shortcake and tea
Salad with cabbage leaves, Salt fish and ackee
Sausage, bacon and beans
Eating is a waste when I can’t your taste
Without you I’m heartbroken and threatened with Anorexia
I still taste you
but I
I
I want
I want the rest of you

Safest Place.
They sat there waiting for you to stop
They sat there watching you hurt me
They hid so you wouldn’t see them
Hid so you wouldn’t see the pain
Hid behind my lashes but when you left- it rained
Dwelling in the corner of the room
While they poured down my face
They stayed in the corner of my eyes
I sat there like a casket dieing in the corner

Because that was the safest place.

As I'm opening up I want to share a secret. I have found love online. As a child I adored Rahl Dahl, Micheal Rosen, William Shakespeare, John Betjeman and so many others the net has introduced me to more contemporary poets. Like Rives.

Rives - "If I Ran The Internet" (TED)

Definitions of Identity, Community, Friendship

2008-02-06T08:40:00.001Z

Group Wiki

2008-02-05T10:27:00.000Z

This week's lesson proved to be quite productive as my group decided on the direction of our wiki project. We all seemed to be interested in how online presence through virtual communities help shape one's identity. We will look at privacy and security online also how advertising online is constructed and targeted at the individual. Also can friendships that are created online be as valid as those formed offline?

Let the brainstorming begin.

Computer vs Culture

2008-02-04T15:08:00.005Z

As society becomes more reliant on technologies, cultural products are being converted into the computer realm. What is now known as old media like television, print and cinema are being digitalised to help the pace of society speed up. Artwork and literature are no longer confined to museums or libraries, we can now view catalogues of artwork online, download whole albums, watch live performances in the comfort of our own home. Culture has become accessible to the individual, on the surface this seems like a positive outcome of the technological age. But a closer inspection of new media and its effects on cultural products needs to take place if we are to really assess the impact of this change. I this essay I will be looking at the performance poetry show Def Poetry Jam, with the use of Manovichs five principles I will attempt to show how the shift of screen from television to the computer site allows the audience or user to not just be a spectator but also a participant (making the viewing somewhat of a political statement). So in looking at how the “computer layer” affects the “cultural layer” Concluding on how the aesthetic possibilities caused by the ‘computer layer” may have increased, the aesthetic values are being jepordised.

In his book ‘The Language of New Media’ (2001) Lev Manovich explores the principles of new Media. Manovich looks at the main differences between old and new media, stating that these principles are not ‘absolute laws’ but rather outlines of the shift in the computerization of culture.

Manovich views his fifth principle Transcoding is the ‘most substantial consequence of the computerization of media’. (Manovich. 2001:45) The conversion that occurs in cultural Transcoding can affect the original subject, Manovich states that through this process the cultural product is split into two layers the what he calls the “cultural layer’ which is the aesthetics of a cultural product and also the “computer layer” which it the programming or the computerization of the product.

Def Jam Poetry is the brainchild of music mogul Russell Simmons. It is a spoken word series that initially targeted African American consciousness, with black poets ranging from ghetto youth lyricists to infamous coffee club performers, now on its sixth season many celebrities and actors have graced the DJP stage. A form of entertainment, Def Poetry Jam also educates the American community on the issues still affecting the urban community. By allowing the voices to speak of the political, social and economic struggles that they face in the modern society, the intimate tales highlight a global struggle still affecting the Black community.

You tube /Opportunities for a global community
You tube is a popular website created in 2005 and now owned by Google. Its tagline is ‘Broadcast Yourself’ and that’s exactly why it has become an infamous new media site. The invitation has encouraged users to upload their video blogs while also giving them the opportunity to watch television and movie clips. The technology used is Macromedia Flash Player 7, which allows the user to upload their videos without downloading a program. You tube allows users to design their own page, design the layout and add their favourite videos to create an online identity. You tube is a prime example of Manovichs fourth principle of Variability. The site changes the cultural layer through placing the product in a domain that encourages interactivity.

“Such popular new media structures as branching (or menu) interactivity and hypermedia can be seen as particular instances of the variability principle. In the case of branching interactivity, the user plays an active role in determining the order in which already generated elements are accessed. This is the simplest thing of interactivity; more complex kinds are also possible in which both the elements and the structures of the whole object are either modified or generated on the fly in response to the users interaction with a program. We can refer to such implementations as open interactivity to distinguish them from the closed interactivity that uses fixed elements arranged in a fixed branching structure.”(Manovich.2001:41)

The layout of the page has the video in a window so while your watching Def Jam Poetry you can also see other videos related to the show or subject matter. So you can instantly move to next performance without adverts or commentary unlike if it was being watched in television. The ‘branching system’ that Manovich talks about breaks down the data into segments to make it faster for the user to jump from one piece of data to the next.

“A hyperlink creates a connection between two elements for example between two words in two different pages or a sentence on one page and an image in another, or two places within the same page”.
The formats of computers now can allow you to have multiple pages or sites open at the same time so while your having a visual and audible experience you can look in the search engine for concrete information just in case you would like to research what your watching for example online newspapers or online books.

“The emergence of new media coincides with the second stage of a media society, now concerned as much with accessing and reusing existing media objects as with creating new ones.”

Launching You Tube Remixer this year, this automation process allows users to montage videos.
Users can watch the poetry as spectators but they can still leave commentaries under the window and participate in the subject matters. They can send and share links and therefore pass information immediately. Due to the demographic of You tube the show has an ability to increase its target audience.

The theoretician Chris May would find this a positive outcome in technological advancements as he argued that new technologies would determine a space where freedom of expression can be maximised and creations like the Internet will work on ‘democracy and efficiency’.

John Naisbitt’s book ‘Global Paradox’ (1994) highlights the optimistic belief that Digitalisation and the new media would result in a society with better social, political and economical relationships. For example the show might be aired at a time of despair, therefore the performances might reflect the concerns of the community, technology therefore allows people to get first hand footage or information in real time, instantly.

“Old media involved a human creator who manually assembled textual, visual and or audio elements into particular composition or sequence. This sequence was stored in some material its order determined once and for all…new media in contrast is characterised by variability. (…) Instead of identical copies, a new media object typically gives rise to many different versions.” (Manovich.2001:36)

Aesthetic possibilities/The loss off aura?
Def Jam Poetry is a show that tries to recreate the intimacy of a late night coffee club. Just like the stage actor, the poets are confined to the space or the platform their message is initially is for the immediate audience. The cultural layer has progressed from underground club to television and now online. From the written word to the spoken word performance for audience and now for a global community. Due to the to reproduction of the original video, there is a loss of the original contextualisation. Most art pieces are made at specific times and periods even though can still be admired after this time there is a need to place it in context to fully appreciate its value.

Does the computer layer have an affect on the affect the aesthetic values of Def Jam Poetry? One argument could be an optimistic view of technology, the computer allows audiences to play with video footage share it, sending it to others in an instance therefore reaching a larger community, and Poetry has found difficulty finding a platform in the mainstream popular culture so maybe this is an emergence of a cultural change.

I find it surreal to watch live poetry, a performance that plays on words and plays on language, fluidly linking sentence to sentence taking the viewer to another world if only for a few minutes, this on a screen that with visual aids plays on words leading to other footages and also other worlds. You can also make the window full screen but when this is done the quality of the footage is decreased.
“There is an indefinite amount of information in a continuous-tone photograph, so enlargement usually reveals more detail but yields a fuzzier and grainier picture…A digital image, on the other hand, has precisely limited spatial and tonal resolution and contains a fixed amount of information.” (Mitchell.1982:52-53)

This automatically effects the cultural layer as we are reminded that we are still watching a screen and therefore there is a somewhat detachment in our voyeurism as I believe that spoken word demands intimacy to appreciate the ‘aura’ of the poem. Therefore the user is unable to live and share the full emotions and experience of hearing the performance live. We are aware of what the computer layer adds to the cultural layer but what does it take away? How does this affect the aesthetic value? Can it really take away the “aura”?
In one of his important essays ‘The work of Art in Mechanical reproduction’ the literary-philosopher Walter Benjamin explains the need to see or be part of the original product in a technological world where reproduction becomes the norm.

“Even the most perfect reproduction of a work of art is lacking in one element: its presence in time and space its unique existence at the place where it happens to be. This unique existence of the work of art determined the history to which it was subject throughout the time of its existence.” (Benjaman 1968:214)
Using Benjamin’s theory, I argue that due to the digitilisation of the cultural product can reach ‘situations’ that old media can not. But this urge to reproduce and change the original medium, Benjamin argues that this process can ‘decay’ the ‘aura’.
“…The technique of reproduction detaches the reproduced object from the domain of tradition. By making many reproductions it substitutes a plurality of copies for a unique existence. And in permitting the reproduction to meet the beholder or listener in his own particular situation, it reactivates the object reproduced. These two processes are intimately connected with the contemporary mass movements.” (Benjaman 1968:214)

In summarising the points discussed, I would argue that the computer layer affects the cultural layer of Def Jam Poetry through, modification, interactivity due to the online community, also the issue of accessibility. The choices that are created through the computer layer reflect the post-modern culture that we live in but this need for immediate ‘satisfaction’ weather for information or pleasure can take away from appreciating the original. The computer layer can transform and renew the danger only arrives when it replaces the cultural layer.

Benjamin, W. (1968) Illuminations English translation Harcourt, Brace & World Inc.,
Manovich, L. (2001) The Language of New Media. The MIT Press; Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Appreciation has dissapeared.

2008-01-29T00:59:00.001Z

Alfie makes me smile.

The world pauses for us, as we share a stolen coffee break in the canteen. 15 minutes snatched from his essay writing. 15 minutes deducted from my reading session. A necessary theft, as time with Alfie makes me smile.

While telling him what I learned at uni that day, I burst into praise for both my lecturer's. They both taught me something, through their actions showed me something. One showed me how to write in HTML, the other taught me how experience can be the best social tool, as she used her life lessons as anecdotes for our naive questions.

Nigel's class was, (as the youths say in the streets) 'heavy- man!’ Which basically means it had positive weight, substance..."I am enthused by the lesson, brethren". While those who already had knowledge of this magical coded language looked down at my delightful face as I made the word 'Johnny' red. I felt like I was at school again, all the positive memories of learning something practical that I could use, that could give me more choices made me smile.

Alfie mentioned something that I had been thinking about for a while. The notion of being thankful and also appreciating others and what they impart in you is slowly disappearing. This idea of loss of appreciation was stirring some thoughts within me about the construction of certain web pages that we use. Most of the networking or exchange sites whether its exchanging ideas, goods or just opinions encourage you to show appreciation. I will try to develop this thought appropriately, as it could also help in our group project.

Once my Mac stops playing up, I will show you what Nigel taught me. I will.

Rock'ed My World!

2008-01-27T08:36:00.001Z

The morning after literally left me asking for more, and as a good wholesome girl that's not very often. But my desire juxtaposed my guilt. You see, I spent the evening with a foulmouthed young man,who kept on swearing, using sexually derogatory words and was more racially conscious then anyone that i have met in a long while.So why would I want more?

Do not write in my feminist friends, for I have not abandoned your teachings. He started the evening very well, balancing some small talk on pop culture with the recent presidential campaign in America, but after 30 minutes I was questioning why I was there.

His name was Chris Rock and we were at the Brixton Academy. This is the first time that Mr Rock had toured in the UK and he has been received very well over here...

Here is some of his previous work that I found on Youtube

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world/story/0,,2243668,00.html

2008-01-25T11:31:00.001Z

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/arts/

2008-01-25T08:01:00.000Z

Google me God: Religious Identities Online

2008-01-23T16:36:00.001Z

She is the omnipotent and omnipresent,She answers to many different names, and those who believe in a higher being are aware of her presence in their everyday routines.

I recently came across a facebook application which posts a different bible verse to your profile everyday. I instantly added it, as my own holy book is no where to be found or maybe its my own holiness that's missing? Without questioning the authenticity of this application I added it,I mean what better endorsement then God's word?

I spotted the same application on someone else's profile, alongside the application titled 'What type of serial killer are you?'. I felt awkward seeing this, the verse's used as decoration for their profile, some sort of kitsch. Once again I was confronted by my own online presence and religious identity or the religious presence on online identities.

But is the Internet a suitable domain for the almighty? If we are to be believe that all hell has broken loose online,with the rise of sinister acts being encouraged by the democratization of this medium. Who better to help sanctify these problems but the Lord? With the success of these social networks, Hi5, Bebo, Facebook and MySpace, is society ready for a My Faith? An online social site where beliefs and religions are discussed. Where believers can integrate and talk about their personal testimonies or even seek advice. To share the pressure of maintaining their identities through an online community.

One of the most interesting sites, if you could categorize them is http://www.muslimyouth.net/. The layout is refreshing for the targeted audience. Its engaging and a very incitefull page.

An Emotional Crutch?

2008-01-22T11:35:00.000Z

In the month where one of my closest friends journey's to South America, for what I call her 'voluntary exile'. I remain in London to celebrate my birthday and appreciate the years that I have seen through and to contemplate the direction of the years to come. Another phase. January has always been one of my favourite months, not only because its my birth-month but also because the lies that we all tell ourselves (whether it be "I will start the gym tomorrow " or "I'm not having a mid-life crisis!" or "I will keep in touch" and my personal favourite, "I shall win the Noble Prize in 2016") begin to unravel in December, we realise how fast the year has gone by and how slow our plans of improving our lives has been. Another phase.

By January the truth has manifested itself and we decide to conquer it with New Year's resolutions. These feeble agenda's usually crumble by mid-February. But the few disciplined and determined one's who keep up these goals, the Internet can provide the tools to progress their aim. Another phase of how technology has improved our lives. Or another stage of how the technology has imposed on our lives?

In the digital world that we are all a part of, the web is a virtual toolbox. Software, websites, blogs, online communities and social networks are just some of the options available to help develop our lives. There seems to be a www dot, for nearly every subject. I recently downloaded Skype allowing me to impose on my friend’s retreat to South America. Messaging her online as if she was still here, and even though I might not receive a reply for a few days just knowing I could connect with her, that she could see my message, soothes my melancholy now that she's not here.

The Internet as an emotional crutch? This could well be true. Most of us at times wish we could alter our lives cyberspace gives you the opportunity. You can create identities and find like-minded people and not be restricted to a space or time.

We are being told that globalisation is bringing people together but one of my suspicions of society's increase use of the internet reflects an increase of loneliness not necessarily unhappiness but an increasing need to feel a connection. With all the tragedies we hear of everyday, it seems everybody is trying to leave their mark with the world. As a child I left my mark or tag 'Revolt' on buses and school walls but now I can comment on super and funwalls. Leave a mark to help stop wars. Leave a tag to help bring down walls.

Through the Internet you can make objects, music, friends, lovers, you can even make a difference online. Signing petitions, voicing your political opinion against or for a subject. I personally find myself being seduced by the net everyday, the temptation to blog or to download or to watch online leaves me very self conscious, in a dichotomy where I give into my cyber desires while also missing my pen and paper wanting to turn some pages, needing to stand up, clap and ask for an encore.

Reflexive Blogging Prt1

2008-01-21T13:32:00.000Z

The core element of this blog is about Reflection. How I reflect on my experiences, writing this blog. Reflection has been a key catalyst in my progress at different phases in my life. Arriving in London as a young girl reflection was a tool for me to understand my surroundings. Reflection was a bridge to understand people's opinions towards me. Reflection is a key concept that is thoroughly encouraged on my degree course.

So if this has been a key function of my behaviour, a routine in my studies, why do I find it difficult to get started on this blog? Seven days have gone by, and although I write consistently in my journal, in letters to distant friends, on notes to the ones I cherish, attempting to explain my love for them...online my 'cyber-fright' takes over me. To write online, more importantly to reflect online leaves me very nervous. Its a trusting process, a potentially risky decision.(As if a far away opinion on my blog somewhere in Alabama could effect me here in London.) Nigel commented on the fact that everything that you do online, whether it is deleted later becomes stored data. I am legal (whatever that means) but the very thought of this reminds me of a bad relationship, you could move on to a prosperous, healthier relations with people but when the wrong buttons are pushed in the right order the stored data can be released without warning. I find this very fascinating as well as disturbing.

Writing for me can be more personal than a glance, touch or smile. The arrangement of the words that you have carefully selected to portray your point, emotion or vision is what excites me about writing and reading and especially other peoples blogs. Blogs are engaging, distracting and at times make me very fortunate on my outlook on life. But a key feature for me on these online reflexive diaries is that someway or another, blogs help (amongst many other things) position my 'politics'. They make aware of the things that infuriate me about people and society and even myself. Blogs remind me of the voyeuristic nature of my personality and if its a very good blog encourages me to develop my views, my taste, myself.

Nigel is sooo hot! Im over Johnny.

2008-01-14T15:27:00.000Z

What is it about smart men with humour that I can not resist? But when the Blogosphere is involved I might have to resist afterall.

Today we begun a new practical module. This Multimedia Project Module is taught by the accurate Mr Nigel Gibson, with years of experience, we have been told that this 'techi'is the man for the job.

I think that I would need more than a man to help me with this assignment. (Has anyone got a spare miracle to give?) My presence online is humble, I don't do any fancy downloads, I have an alias on facebook as if I'm having an affair on my non-existent husband. I also buy some items online such as tickets, books and tights.

To add insult to internet injury we have to work in small groups. But luckily our group
formed a while ago. We came prepared. The group assignment involves creating a series of web pages that link to each other with a specific topic aimed at a targeted audience .
We must also keep an online blog that maps down our thought process as the module develops and also our progress in the group work. I will go into more detail about the briefs once I get my head around this blogging thingybobbymajig.