My reflections of the course, has been more like a revision of my person. Each week there was a different feeling towards what we were looking at. Each week I would get excited and frustrated at the same time. The last week has been hard but not due to it just being deadline week. To put it simply, I've had such a horrible week. What could go wrong did and to make it more exhausting is that I've never felt so tired this year. Sick and tired. Emotionally tired. Bloody tired.

I didn't want to write one of my final blog posts with all this negative energy because I do believe that it shows through. A slow crippling of my mood has been taken place for some weeks now but never like this. And I have come to such a profound conclusion of why this might be...

...Its life. Its reality and its ongoing. There is a reason why we are supposed to work in groups. And it’s not just to give less work for the tutor. Life is about group work, you will always have to, work, live, love and if you want to learn from the people that surround you. I consistently hear "I hate group work" and immediately translate it as "Im fearful of group work". I honestly do believe that insecurity and fear is what makes people dislike working as a team. If you can't work with students that you have known for three years what is the probability that you will become a good team player when you get into your 'industry'.

We are not at school, and we can now apply for more than work experience vacancies. And we will probably compromise ourselves in the early stages when we get to work but somehow find it difficult to compromise when we are in a team in education. Its similar to the framework of relationships, its fine until something goes wrong and for a while there is a slight pause to the progress of the relationship. For it to continue both parties have to work together maybe not equally but together for a common goal if they are to develop. One cannot take all the responsibility its wrong, there will be too much pressure and for me the power politics that come with that angers me.

What fascinates me is the idea that degree students in their final year at times fail to realise that unless 'daddy' is going to give you a job (and if so ask him if he has one for me) you will have to work in a group, sometimes with like minded people sometimes not. What I’ve come to realise is that everybody wants to do well, we all want to achieve but some want to act like it is the last thing on their mind, acting nonchalant as if it was cool. And putting a some what 'passive pressure' on those who are enthusiastic about wanting to reach their full potential.

My primary experiences with my peers were awful. But slowly became easier when I became aware of peoples personalities as the degree developed. So I made sure that the last group I was in was with the people that I could talk to and debate with. I think I made a good choice. To type or not to type the details? -that is the question. One thing that really hit home to me is the feeling of not letting your group down that can put some pressure on an individual by the individuals themselves.

The course I felt was basically at the wrong time but that didn't stop it from being a very engaging process, reflecting on how recent technological developments can have such an effect on humans. From agreeing with some of the negative reviews of the Internet just due to my sheer ignorance of the web. I feel now as if to defend it. In our group wiki we explored how the online communities specifically Myspace and Facebook owners had a great deal of power with the information they gain from these sites.

But I now stand somewhere in the middle of these debates. Feeling frustrated that on one side I hear about the liberation of what the Internet can provide and on the other angle how it’s a killer of modern culture. I might start up a blog, one at my own pace and guidelines. I do feel like I could of given this course more but (I cant explain how nervous it can get posting something up) but then I would of had to give something else less. It’s all about priorities. Bell Dubois shall remain in the blogosphere thanks to Nigel; he has truly been a good ambassador and tried his best to encourage us to critically engage with the subject.